i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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