i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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