suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
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