And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
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He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
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HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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