Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
