He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
