love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
