how can u be prego again
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
