This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Pants are for mortals
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
