I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
