He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Panties = found
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