i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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