areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
