this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
