O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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