so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Let's get the cat blown out
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
