VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Duck Duck Cougar?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
