the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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