Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
