Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
