I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
