By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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