You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
you're hired as official boob wrangler
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
