we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
