I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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