can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
