i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
