Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
