It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
