This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
