just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
