Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
