Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
