I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
