This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
