I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
