What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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