I think scott just propositioned me for sex
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
