bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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