i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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