just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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