i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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