If that was your dad, he is hot
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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