The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
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Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
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I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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