Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
