I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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