we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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