covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
