just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
