Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
