Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize