the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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