Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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