Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
you never un-have a 4some
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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