That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
