is your mom at the bar?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
