I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize