Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
