Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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