So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
