the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
